Loving Commitment. Two words. Whether you see them as adjectives, adverbs, verbs, or nouns, these two words really encapsulate something that has been growing in my life.
Especially in these past two years.
Before I met Stacie, I had a lot of things that Americans idolize. I had freedom. My options were open. I could pursue any of the beautiful girls in the world (not that they would respond, but I had the option of trying). I could wake up on any given morning and pursue happiness in whatever way I saw fit, within the limits of my Christian experience of course. My time was my own- I had freedom.
Or so I thought.
When I met Stacie and she became my wife I learned things about freedom and liberty in relationships that I had never experienced before. With the deep commitment to Stacie also came full access. Our mutual commitment means that we do not hide things from each other and we do not reserve ourselves from each other. When I was single and ‘keeping my options open’ I really had no options at all. I understand that there are ungodly people out there who lack integrity and who will steal things outside of marriage, but I am a Christian and therefore I could not in good conscience rob any girl’s future husband by defiling her for my momentary pleasure. The fact is, back when all the girls in the world were a possibility, I did not have access to even one of them. Because I was ‘free’, therefore I did not have liberty.
When I made the loving commitment I went from no intimate access to full intimacy. Because we have removed all other options with our commitment, Stacie and I are now free to express our love for each other in a multitude of different ways. We can write love notes to each other. We can hold hands and kiss in any public or private place and no one can tell us not too (unless we take this to an extreme and get charged with ‘excessive public display of affection’ or the like; which could happen, knowing us). All the young men out there who are ‘keeping their options open’ can never enjoy the depths of such intimacy to the extent that I can within the bounds of my one committed relationship.
Commitment is scary. It means pursuing one to the exclusion of all others. There is such exhilaration in knowing that I belong to Stacie and she belongs to me. We were designed by God to thrive in commitment. If either one of us would hold back, it would ruin everything. In marriage, the full rewards of complete commitment are easily seen. The horrible results of trying to keep our own petty ‘freedoms’ can also be seen in all the ruined relationships that litter the bleeding and battered landscape of the Christian Church.
The other night as I stood on Enchanted Rock and watched the sun set, I marveled at the awesomeness of our Creator. I held hands with my beautiful wife and exulted in the moment. My God challenged me, and I responded to walk a deeper walk of commitment to Him, and to my wife. Forsaking all my selfish fear of the confines of commitment I willingly, eagerly embrace loving commitment. I gladly surrender my ‘freedom’ to pursue others in exchange for the delight of true intimacy.
I find myself loving commitment more each passing day.